i know i'm a little late to the thread, but i've had a couple experiences identicle to these.
i got into the iphone market about 2 years ago, picked up a 3gs when they were just $50 and thoroughly enjoyed it. i was on the bare minimum data plan because i honestly dont use it that much and at the time was trying to make the phone bill as cheep as possible.
for the first 4 months i never went over, checked my data constantly, and would turn off 3g and cell data before i got close. then my phone developed a few dead pixels and the lock button started acting funny, but i didnt care too much because it was well within the standard 1 year warranty and they replaced it with no big fuss. within a week of that happening i went over my data limit twice. i called at&t and they said they couldnt tell me what the data was, and the best i could do was go online and look at what time it was, it was about 4am both times. even with as late as i stay up, i was alseep, and the iphone was locked and plugged in to an outlet.
so i got on the forums and started searching for answers and this is about all i found:
-apple and at&t will blame each other and never take responsability.
You will be out about $80 from overage fees, and you cannot tell them to not allow your phone to go over, it violates some potential safety thing, and honestly is just there to screw you over. you arent evel allowed to see what the phones on your plan are sending because it violates some personal security laws, there is NO way to see what information was being sent, what site it was sent to, or if it was even incoming or outgoing. the most you can see is what time it was sent.
-iphones default settings are "use wifi over 3g, unless the wifi is going slow, then supliment with 3g"
i had already turned this feature off, i had come close to going over in the first month i had it because of this feature, so as soon as i got my replacement i went ahead and turned it off. it's an odd feature that i dont like, you can sit there and watch it boot a weak wifi signal for 3g while a video loads, then switch back like nothing happened.
(i'm now using a 4, and i cannot for the life of me find the option to turn off it's suplimental crap, i changed it on my 3gs, but now it's like it never existed)
-when you get a replacement phone, they want to set it up in the store, and they will turn on the periodic notifications to apple without asking you.
this is the part that screwed me over, and there is no way to turn these bad boys off once you set up the phone, the only chance you have is to backup your phone, reset it, run through the setup again, and hope that it dosent switch back over when you restore your contacts and stuff.
-the only way to avoid going over when you are close is to either have you unlimited dataplan grandfathered in (which they will try to turn off on every step of upgrading you phone) or to just turn off the 3g *and*cell*data* that they force you to have if you want to use any smartphone.
so basicly, the iphone is gonna send random 200mb data packets if you ever let an apple tech touch your phone, or just blew through the setup, and the packets will send at really akward hours of the night, almost gaurenteeing you are asleep (that way it wont interupt what you might be doing) so it will push you over if you tried to go cheep on the dataplan, and even if you happen to be away or have your phone lit up to use wifi when this happens, you phone could still magically determine that 3g would be faster and turn off the perfectly capable wifi signal anyway. neither company will take credit for it because they are honestly working together to make it impossible for you to not go over, there will always be a chance, and they are hoping that small chance will scare you into buying 2gb more data than you will ever need.