stop lion creating ._ , .DS_STORE, ._.Trashes, ._.TemporaryItems, etc

I have a linux based NAS device where I put all my work. I also ftp whole folders of work around the net quite a bit. I am also compressing whole folders to email to people.

the Linux and Windows based people I work with have to deal with thousands of files that start with a dot that now end up all through my stuff, and they are complaining.

For every single file that I put on my network, zip up or FTP to a site, a hidden file created that starts with ._ (period underscore) with a copy of the name.

Not only that, I also get .DS_STORE files in every folder.

Not only that, I also get a file called ._.TemporaryItems

Not only that, I also get a file called ._.Trashes

These things annoy the crap out of me and my clients.

I have tinkertool and and it has a checkbox to stop creating .DS_STORE files - but they still get created. So that doesn't work. I've seen apps on the store that let me clean a mounted usb stick and so on - but this is absolutely no help when ftp'ing to a server, or when compressing a folder to email. They still end up in the zip. This is exactly the opposite of useful behaviour.

How do I stop my system PERMANENTLY from creating any of these files? If it means living without labels and icon positions, I don't care.