I don't want a disappearing controller. I want no controller at all. I will use keyboard shortcuts to play, I don't want a controller showing in a theater environment.
You appear to have two main problems here. The first is that you seem to have very specific playback requirements but you are doling them out piecemeal and often in a misleading manner. The second is that you have not really revealed exactly what your goals are here.
If you actually have QT 7 Pro installed and want to play the file using a "QT Player app" in a "full screen" mode with no "disappearing" controls using media sourced from DVD media content, then here is what I recommend:
1) Install the QT MPEG-2 Player Component if you have not already done so using one of the methods mectioned above.
2) Use the free MPEG Streamclip app to convert/demux your VOB titles to either a muxed MPEG (MPEG-2/MP2) file or to paired M2V and AIFF elementary stream files. (I prefer M2V/AIFF elementary streams because they aviods the file size limitations of the MPEG file container.)
3) Open the MPEG or M2V file in the QT 7 Pro Player app and open the "Properties" window.
4) Select/highlight the main file container track ("N/A" Track) and select the "Presentation" Tab.
5) Activate the following "Presentation" settings: "Automatically play movie when opened", "Enter fullscreen mode when opened", and "Automatically quit after playing".
6) Save the file as a "Reference" file using the "Save as..." File menu option
7) Set the reference file to open in the QT 7 Pro Player if not already defaulted for this option.
At this point double-clicking the reference file will open the MPEG or M2V/AIFF file(s) and begin playback in the "Full Screen" mode without opening the "Disappearing" controller and automatically close the player/quit the QT 7 Pro Player app when the movie finishes playback. In addition, the "Space" bar can be used to pause/play the movie without activating the "Disappearing" controller.
However, your use of the term "theater environment" makes me wonder if you have left out another important fact—i.e., that your goal may actually be to use your Mac Mini as a media playback server for a home entertainment system. If so, then this is a totally different matter having two possible approaches depending on the OS under which you plan to operate the system and how willing you are to convert the source media files.
a) Lion OS: Under Lion the best approach would be to use iTunes to serve M4V (H.264/AAC/AC3) file content to your audio and video equipment via the TV device. Its advantanges are that you can manage a large media library remotely via the TV device, locally via the sourcing device, or locally via mirroring from certain devices and retain AC3 DD5.1 playback options. The main disadvantage is that DVD media content must be converted for playback which can take large amounts of time.
b) Snow Leopard: Under Snow Leopard you have the same TV playback options with the same advantages and disadvantages. In addition, you can use the built-in Front Row app. The advantage here is that you can access and play your VIDEO_TS, iTunes, iMovie, iPhoto, etc. content using an TV-like menu without having to convert the original DVD data. The disadvantage is that the VIDEO_TS content must be moved to the start-up drive "Movies" folder and that AC3 DD5.1 "Passthrough" may not be supported. (I.e., have tested playback locally but do not have cables to connect my older MacBook Pro directly to my entertainment system.)