WC, When I use the term Home Sharing it is perhaps a little oversimplified, it is quiet impractical and often overkill to continually restate the complete sequence of events that led me to 'a fix', however, I did not suddenly one day find a problem, switch to wi-fi and find all was well. There was significant investigation done on my part to try to find a solution. if by me saying I moved to wifi and it worked, others can move to wifi and have a fix, great. I am not trying to reinvent the wheel here, others much cleverer than me are looking at that...
I had a functioning setup over wired until approx 2 months ago with an ATV2 connecting to Imac library, I was at the time occasionally running some software that restarted itunes once finished which may have masked the problem if it was there, unlikely though. I purchased an ATV3 with a new TV, this upon installation required an ios update much the same time as the itunes update.
I noticed the white light on the atv3 flashing when it was asleep, this was not something i had seen on the atv2, Investigation suggested this was normal behaviour, I remain unconvinced of this.
from that point on 'Home Sharing' did not work until a restart of itunes, it would then work all night (6+ hours)
My mac was set to sleep over night, I tried turning that off-no difference, turned ip6 off-no difference, once it hangs other devices on the network are unable to see the itunes lib, iphone, ipad,MBP etc
Once the thing hangs, Netstat shows a massive quantity of open ports 100/150+ to each on/sleeping atv, a restart of itunes clears this lot. with wired, these connections start to build again, with wireless not so much.
looking back on here shows folks have had this problem in various guises since early 2011, apple by their own admission state the last update 'fixes some issues with Home Sharing', it seems it introduced some for me...
I am quite sure some peoples problems are down to underlying network problems however this is supposed to be 'Home Sharing' it shouldnt need a degree in computer science to configure, it should just work.
I am not about to pull my network apart to troubleshoot any further, between mac & atv's there are 2 x Giga/switches(netgear) and an Airport Extreme(bridged), the atv cable was plugged into the A.Ex no dice and now connects w/less to the same box and works fine...