I accidentally merged my husbands iphone contacts with mine through icloud...how can I fix this? o

You'll have to use your own iCloud account with a different Apple ID to avoid ending up with merged contact, calendars and any other data you both sync with iCloud. To do this on your phone, go to Settings>iCloud and turn off syncing for contacs and anything else you are syncing, when prompted choose to Keep the data on your iPhone. When done, you can scroll to the bottom and tap Delete Account. Next set up a new iCloud account on your phone with a different Apple ID, then turn syncing back on for contacts, etc. in Settings>iCloud.

At this point you will both have to go to icloud.com, sign into your respective iCloud accounts and manually delete the contacts you don't want you your respective phones. (No way around this.) Do the same for calendars if those were merged. Once finished you won't have the problem again.

FYI, you can still share your iCloud calendar with each other if you wish even if you have separate iCoud accounts (http://support.apple.com/kb/PH2690). You won't, however, be able to share Photo Stream photos until iOS 6 is released later this fall (see http://www.apple.com/ios/ios6/#photostreams).

Unfortunately I'm not sure there's much I can do to help. When your contacts are deleted it's not unusual to still see this when you text or use spotlight search. The device retains some residual contact information in cache memory even when the contacts are deleted. However, there's no way to access this directly, or transfer it back to your contacts on your device. If you have a backup of your device, you may be able to recover them by restoring to the entire backup, however this is not always successful. If you want to try, and your backup is in iCloud, use this procedure to prevent any recovered contacts from being overwritten by iCloud:

1. Ensure the device is connected to your local network.
2. Start the restore from iCloud back up.
3. Allow the devices settings to restore (watch for the confirmation of completion).
4. As the apps begin to restore pull the connection to your router WAN port (the one that goes to the telephone point).
5. Wait for the time out confirmation.
6. Navigate to settings > iCloud and turn off contact syncing (keep contacts when prompted).
7. Reconnect the router to the internet and let the restore process complete.
8. Delete the iCloud contacts from iCloud.comon a computer.
9. Navigate to settings > iCloud and turn on contact syncing (merge contacts when prompted).

Help randers4! I had the merge issue after updating. A friend thought they knew how to fix and selected the Delete data. Now my contacts are missing in My Contacts but when I want to text a message my contacts show up in light gray with correct name. The contact numbers all have a +1 prefix and the messages are sent and recieved with just that number i.e. no names. How do I get contacts back in My contacts and fix the text message issue. Thanks in advance.

You're welcome. If you want to keep the account with yourname@me.com you might want to delete the existing account from his phone instead of yours and then create the new one on his phone. If you've already deleted it on your phone, try signing back into it. If you can, turn syncing back on for your data, then go through the steps of turning off syncing, keeping the data on the phone, deleting the account and creating the new account on his phone, using the name he wants to use.