I too am having the same problem, and have been back and forth with Apple and BTinternet.
My bt internet account is a business account and they seem to want to resolve it but they are still struggling.
I originally had the 2wire BT 2700HGV router and it wasn't happening .
They knew it wasn't a firmware issue now and they tried sending out an updated router BT2701HGV.
Got this all set up and no better than the 2700 although iyt felt like my connection speed for everything else seemed a toucjh better.
I am awaiting a call from their "Technical Ownership Unit" team tomorrow to walk me through a few things.
Apple are offering to refund my purchase , but that isn't really what I want - I want to be up to date and enjoying the new OS.
Maybe it would have been better to say "Heck - we'll put a copy on a DVD and sent it in the post"
I don't quite see what the problem is - because I can download other apps (in fact I downloaded Lion last year), I download movies, music and podcasts, so it can't just be because it's a big file.
Why does this download require more of the ISp than previous downloads?
As BT is one of the UKs main ISPs you'd think that there would be a bit more urgency on behalf of both companies to get this problem licked.