I cannot change the "recieved at" in iMessage from apple id to phone number.

The "Receive At" is not a selection. Your cell phone number and registered email addresses below is where a sender can address an iMessage to you.

The selection for iMessage is your Caller ID for when sending an iMessage.

Turn iMessage off and back on.

caller i.d. is not an option for me. it just has a gray box that says "verifying" and then my phone number

Mine doesn't say verifying but does say it is "waiting for activation" and has my phone number greyed out. It sends iMessages from my email addresses but not my phone number.

My Family has 3 ipads, and three iphones with one account. when I updated to the iphone 5 something switched, here are some of the problems.

My ipad no longer texts from My number, the number associated with the account is now my wife's.

and

When my wife sets reminders on her phone they show up on mine.

we had two ipads for 2 years and never had the problem. I am sure I messed up the settings but I dont know how or where.

HELP!

Switch to separate Apple IDs and iCloud accounts for each person.