Hi guys,
It's really unfortunate that everyone is getting such different levels of support from Apple. I'm frustrated as well (still searching for my final acceptable phone), but I have to give credit (at least in the experience I've received), that Apple is doing a stellar job to make me happy. I've only been working with the phone support, but they have provided personal contact and followups every step of they way. I do not have any experience in the store with exchanges, though I'm doing that today and will report back how that goes.
So if you're not getting professional and satisfactory from Apple, I'd suggest asking for another contact and politely escalating as needed.
I was told by my service rep that they are changing policies now, the latest being earlier this week.
So those of you loyal to the iPhone, do your best to stick it out. Understand it's frustrating. And if you just can't bear it any longer, you taking your business elsewhere is a constructive sign to Apple as well which hopefully they will learn from.
Continued good luck to all of you.