I might have found a solution, the problem with receiving popup-alerts for my wife's shared calendar drove me nuts for quite a while now.
Especially, since she was not getting any notifications for my appointments on her side. Which made me check differences in the devices' settings.
What I then did was deactivate the "standard reminder settings", which I had set for 15 mins ahead of appointments and 1 day for all day events. She didn't have that setting turned on. When she now adds something to her calendar, I won't get a reminder. Heaven.
The downside is twofold:
First, all previous appointments (added to the calendar before changing above setting) still come with the reminder.
Second, I now have to manually set reminders for my own appointments. But that's worth it.
Hope this helps!
The first problem with previous appointments can be solved by deactivating the icloud-calendar in Settings > Mail, Contacts, Calendar choosing the option to remove all data from the device.
After all is deleted, the setting can be turned on again which will prompt the device to download all calendar events from iCloud. It won't add any reminders, so everything should be fine.
You will, unfortunately be waiting a long time. This used to be trivial in MobileMe (you set whether or not you wanted updates when first accepting the shared calendar), but it's simply not part of the iCloud design.
Don't pin your hopes on it being fixed in iOS7/Mavericks either - I can tell you exactly the same problem occurs.
To successfully stop shared calendar notifications you MUST update EACH AND EVERY connected device and iCloud.com settings. If any one device (or iCloud) has the notifications turned "on" then you will receive notifications. I had to turn off notifications on my iPhone, iPad and then log in to change my settings on iCloud.com. If you make the changes in all these places then it will FINALLY stop the notifications! It only took me a few hours to finally figure this out :-)
Cmdavis9, you indicate that you were able to stop shared calendar notificiations, but does that include stopping the notifications received via the Calendar App? I believe I have updated each and every connected device and icloud.com settings, but my wife and I still receive notifications via the calendar app in each of those devices (iphone calendar, ical on mac). Oddly, my wife just receives one periodic notification ("David has updated XXX events") while I receive a calendar notification for every single event she updates. If you could detail which notifications you turned off (and where), it would certainly help me and I'm assuming the rest of those on this thread. I think I've covered it all, but could be missing one key switch/notification setting. Appreciate your time and input.
I nailed the problem for me, finally. I'm not sure this is news for everybody but it certainly is for me. I discovered today that the notifications I get from my wife's calendar are in fact my own defaults and not hers. I use a 30 minutes default alarm on all my appointments and my iCal is so configured. My wife does not set alarms for her appointments (she teaches and has regular classes all week long. It drives me nuts).
What had not occured to me until today is that iCal uses my defaults when I subscribe to her calendars. I can diusable everything in her calendars and iCloud, as long as my defaults are on they are applied to her events on my Mac and devices. This is so dumb that it took me something like three years to figure it out.
I'm relieved but so mad at the guy who devised this. Hope this helps some of you.
François, does this include alerts that your wife changed or added events to her events do not show in the inbox within the calendar application on your mac or iPhone? Not just system notifications, but application specific inventation and update alerts?
The constant invitation and event update alerts are the main issue for me. I can stop all the system notifications, but the in app inbox alerts just pile up. It seems the only way to resolve the issue is to make the calendar public and subscribe to the calendar rather than sharing through iCloud, but then the calendar is read-only to the subscriber.
If anyone has any update that stops these types of alerts, love to hear.
Unfortunately no. And I've discovered since my last post that I need to disable default alarams on all my devices, meaninf they are totally local on each device but apply to all calendars. This is really a poor decision.
Until Apple changes it, I will still have to bear meaningless events alerts in my app inbox. But still, I have made a progress...
Through trial and error, this is what I've learned:
1) If a calendar is shared using iCloud as PRIVATE, then alerts are shared, too. As so many people have noted, there appears to be no way to turn off the alerts on shared calendars when shared as PRIVATE. Note that private sharing also gives one the option of allowing the other to edit the calendar.
2) If a calendar is shared using iCloud as PUBLIC, then subscribers have control over alerts. Public sharing always give the other person read-only access.
3) A tip: if using iCal in OSX, you can subscribe to the public URL as an iCloud calendar. Your settings in OSX regarding alerts will also transfer to your iPhone via iCloud.
When sharing as public, note that only those with the URL can see the calendar, so it's up to to the owner to manage who sees the URL. Fortunately, sharing as public doesn't mean Apple publishes the URL to the world. While I prefer the additional security offered when sharing as private, I'm settling for public sharing just to get rid of the alerts.
Can't believe this is now over a year since the issue was raised. By way of quick update: I went through Apple Support using a new AppleCare plan to avoiud being fobbed off too quickly. After way too much time of me sitting on the phone with a very helpful Support person, checking settings, creating new iCloud IDs to successfully replicate the issue and try stuff out from the iCloud engineers etc, the result was that the iCloud engineers decided they couldn't fix it and said that these spurious in Calendar app notifications (not email notifications and not the Notifications Centre notifications) are "intended behaviour".
Which is clearly bollocks, especially since (a) it never worked like this prior to iOS 6 and the updates to iCloud around that time (all was fine), (b) we managed to recreate the issue, which the Support person agreed was an issue, (c) it seems to be OK when using totally new iCloud IDs (not migrated MobileMe IDs and I suspect the issue lies in this part of it), (d) the switches to toggle these notifications on and off would be redundant surely if the issue is actually an "intended behaviour", and (e) the iCloud Engineers seemed to spend a lot of time working and looking for fixes and system log info from me before deciding it is an "intended behaviour"!
Suggest, if you can be bothered: logging support calls with iCloud Support and pester them into fixing this. Also, you will need to get them to do a screen viewing session (on a Mac or via the Calendar on iCloud.com) to show them so that they understand what the issue is. Otherwise they will think you are talking about the general notifications centre alerts that cover all alerts for email, apps etc etc. It took some time for the penny to drop until we did this.
Have to say I am well ****** off with this situation and response. And there is no way that they don't know about this issue... I am sure there are plenty of Apple staff who must be sharing calendars in this way and must have had this issue.