Are all of some of your devices using the same iCloud account on the phone itself...
If yes, then this is the problem... you're not really meant to share an icloud account like this... when it's shared, if someone removes a contact it will come off that icloud acct and also get removed from any other phone using that same icloud acct.
As for facetime... same kind of thing... if you've set up the diff phones to use the same facetime credentials (meaning to send and recv facetime calls using the same email address) then you will get mixed up calls like this where the person intended to get the call may not actually get the FT req...
You really should split up the accounts and each use your own icloud email account and FT credentials.