my wife and I have two Iphones 4 under one account, we just update them to iso6 but I got all the contacts from hers in addition to my contacts and she got the same thing. any idea?

This happens when you both sync data to the same iCloud account. When you do this any data you sync with the shared iCloud account such as contacts is merged, and the merged data will appear on all devices connected to the account. To fix this you both need to have separate iCloud accounts (you can continue to share the same Apple ID for purchasing from the iTunes and app stores). One of the phones can keep the current account; on the one that will be moving go to Settings>iCloud and turn all data that is syncing with iCloud (contacts, calendars, etc.) to Off. When prompted choose to keep the data on the iPhone. After everything is turned off, scroll to the bottom and tap Delete Account. (This will only delete the account from his phone, not from iCloud. The other phone will not be effected by this.) Next, set up a new iCloud account on this phone using a different Apple ID and turn iCloud data syncing for contacts, etc. back to On. When prompted, choose Merge. This will upload the data to this new account. At this point you will have two different iCloud accounts, one for each phone, with identical data on them.

You will then have to go to icloud.com on your computer and sign into each iCloud account separately and manually delete the unwanted data (such as deleting his contacts from your account, and vice versa). These changes will be reflected on each phone. When finished you will have individual iCloud accounts with just your own data on them.