Q: where is the sim card in the iphone?

On the right hand edge. There is a pin hole and if you insert a paper clip or a pin then the drawer pops out

I showed my wife that you called me sweetie. She says please stop lol

When you are looking at the front of the phone g o to the right side.  Look at. The right side edge of the phone ( when you look at it side on). There is a small hole.  That is what I am referring to.  See http://www.idownloadblog.com/2010/06/25/iphone-4-user-guide/

In the picture of the black phone see the little pin hole on the right hand edge?

If you hav an iPhone 4 ( my wife has that one) the should be that dot.   If you can't see it just work you way around all the other edges you should find it somewhere.  You said you have the 4.  Have a look at the manual in the link that I posted.  If you don't have the 4 and you have a different model then it could be somewhere on one of the edges

Have a look at http://webtrickz.com/how-to-insert-sim-card-in-iphone-4/

It shows where the SIM card is on the iPhone 4 and 4S