Thought I'd best post the solution to my problem! Since buying my car new in 2010, I had no idea I needed to regularly check the various Ford websites for software updates. I found instructions how to do this (from Sept 2011) and after a bit of faffing about and 20 mins sat in my car in the rain, I think IT'S FIXED!! (finges crossed, but my phone book and call lists now all show properly).
For anyone like me - here is the Ford Bluetooth Software Update link - http://www.ford-mobile-connectivity.com/downloadsUpdates
It's REALLY important that you follow the instructions to the letter, I thought I would save the update to my memory stick in a folder, didn't notice your supposed to save it at the highest level of the memory stick, cost me an hour of messing about clueless.
Good luck if you're reading this, I'm now off to enjoy getting attached to my new iphone...