Julian,
Your statement and the use of an exclamation point comes across as arrogant and accusatory. You act like you know more about phones and iOS in general, yet you said yourself that you have never jailbroken a phone. To claim that something you know nothing about is what is causing my problem is a pretty ignorant statement. Maybe you do know more, but I'm not trying to judge or insinuate anything with my comments.
I have 2 identical iPhone 4 phones; mine and my wife's. Mine is jailbroken while hers is not and never has been. Last night I did a little test. I opened a bunch of apps (same apps, same versions) on both phones and monitored the memory usage while doing so. Both were from a fresh boot, so I have to assume that available memory was similar. I can't quite know for sure because I cannot see the memory usage on her phone, but the results were similar, so I believe that they were the same at the start.
Here's the list of apps I opened. With each app, I didn't just open it and close it. I played around in each one and performed their various functions. The number in ( ) is the free memory before app loading (or after "closing" the previous app and launching a new one) and the number in [ ] is the free memory while in the app. I didn't "close" any app using a process killer, just simply hit the home button and waited a few seconds before launching a new app.
(298MB starting)
Facebook [239] (268) - Facebook is a memory hog (at least initially). Only about half reclaimed.
WatchESPN [240] (242) - Not much reclaimed
App Store [205] (209) - also a bloated pig
Mint.com [191] (194)
Farkle [180] (190)
Hanging w/ friends [101] (106) - Both phones are starting to feel a little sluggish at this point.
FamilyFeud&Frnds [67] (74)
YouTube [43] (107) - Interesting to note this ~105MB. You'll see why soon.
Camera [20] (103) - Here it is again.
Wootstar [74] (51) - Why did it drop again after closing it? Poor app coding?
Facebook, again [47] (50)
Maps (iOS5 ver) [31] (65)
Yahoo Sportacular [40] (42)
TheWeatherChan [31] (38)
Farkle, again [28] (37)
Angry Birds Seas [20] (23) - Took a reeaaallllyyy long time to load
Light (turns on led) [106] (109) - This had a really long load and delayed reaction, but then memory jumped.
Analysis: Both phones behaved pretty similarly, so I can't see any detectable evidence that the memory issues are due to it being jailbroken. (I really only run jailbroken for sbsettings which allows handy access to do things that Apple should already allow us. Instant access to turn Wifi, Bluetooth, Airplane Mode, VPN, Location on and off. Also, I can quickly adjust my brightness. It's a pain to go digging in the settings app everytime you need to do these things and these are all things an android can natively do.) I monitored the process in between app changes and ALL of them stayed running in the background EXCEPT for Farkle. It would be gone after I closed it.
One interesting thing I noted was that when the memory reached some arbitrary low point, something would free up some memory to the around 103-107MB range. It's cool that it did that, but did didn't do it consistently. Sometimes it would do it around the 40MB mark and others waited until the dangerously low 20MB mark. When it reclaimed it, it only did it to around the ~105MB mark which is 1/3 of what I started with; ~300MB.
After I was done, I closed all background process except for phone, messages, etc. and the memory went back to just ABOVE 300MB.
Conclusion: Apple has a built in flushing system, but it waits until it's really backed up. When it flushes it only partially does so and the phone can get pretty clogged between flushes. When the flushes happen, no one really knows.