You might try resetting NVRAM. Also, make sure you have selected your normal startup drive in System Preferences > Startup Disk.
If this doesn't help at all, try running the Apple Hardware Test to eliminate the possibility of a hardware problem. (This can't catch 100% of the problems but it will eliminate most possibilities.)
If the procedures in the first paragraph eliminate the long grey/blue screen problem but it still takes a long time to get to the desktop, you may need to check your login items (listed in System Preferences > Accounts > Login Items tab) to see if any of them require a long time to launch.
If none of this helps, there are other things to check, like startup items & third party additions, but do the above & get back to us with your results before we get into that.
i have pressed the 4 keys mentioned in your instructions, but i am not getting a second beep, in fact the only thing that seems to work is the options key to choose what to boot with cd or hd, i have pressed option-command-p-r before the grey scree and waited nearly 9 minutes and nothin happens, is there a software reset program available.