Calendar keeps going public, can not delete events, calendars etc...

Trying to sync my iphone calendar to my DH's is driving me effing crazy!!!

Here are the issues:

-I have 5 calendars to share, all shared with DH fine except the one that I have created for the kids schedule has decided to go public and no matter how many times I change it to private it keeps going back to public

-New calendars appeared on their own, I try to delete them but they keep coming back.

-An event I created, I deleted but it keeps coming back as well.

-A calendar I created to "test" I want to delete but I can not, it keeps coming back.

I am pretty new to Iphone but have had an Ipod touch for 3 years. Why does it ask me if I am sure I want to delete the event/calendar when it knows it is not going to delete it. I have turned off icloud and put it back on, I have backed up to icloud, I have tried to make the changes from the phone and from icloud, what gives?? Do I need to dump the calendar all together? I was so happy at the thought of DH and I being able to sync but the problems here are too annoying for me to want to use this calendar. I hope someone here can help me resolve these issues. Thanks!