iTunes Match...So many issues, no music on iPhone

iTunes Match 😠 When I get one problem fixed I have another one come up almost right away. Now that I got iTunes to stop crashin during the match process, I can't get the music and playlists to transfer to my iPhone 5. They are transferrring to my husbands iPhone 4s. I have restarted, turned match on and off multiple times, etc. Now I only have 1 song showing up on my iPhone and no playlists. I have almost 6,000 songs on the cloud and about 30 playlists. This makes no sense...I tried what someone said in another thread (changing the names of the playlists) and that did not work. Any suggestions? iTunes match I shake my fists at you!!!!! Shame on apple for not resolving issues with match quicker.