Have you set up Home Sharing with the same Apple ID and Password on her machine?
Also to transfer purchase of content made form itunes Store using Your own Apple ID then you will need to authorize her conputer to play it. On her iTunes Store > Authorise tis computer.
Finally if you still cannot see the Home share is it because you do not have he sidebar turned on? (View > Show Sidebar)
Set up Home sharing and authorized the computer and have got the side bar but the only music that she has on is the sample music that is on when set up.
She has put the music on from my laptop but can not transfer the songs from her ipad to the computer.
Shall i just copy all my music over to her libary?