Home sharing on ATV, iphone and computer but nothin!

I have home sharing on my itunes library and the same account on my ATV and my iphone and ipad and i cannot use homesharing or the ATV remote from my iphone or ipad.

The ATV when I click on computers from the main screen says "to access your itunes library on ATV, turn on home sharing in itunes on your computer using 'my email address." (which I have done)
The iphone and ipad when i open the ATV remote app says "turn on home sharing in itunes on your computer or on ATV using the account 'my email address" (which i have done)

They are all on the same wireless network and I have restarted EVERYTHING!
HELP!!!