Q: there is not a "file" tab in itunes on my ipad for home sharing setup steps

You don't have a File tab on your iPad's iTunes, you set up home sharing on your computer's iTunes via the File drop-down menu (Advanced drop-down menu on iTunes 10.7 or earlier) - on an iPad you do it via Settings > Music (Settings > iPod on iOS 4 or below). You should then be able to share your computer's iTunes library to your iPad if they are connected to the same network and iTunes on your computer is open - in the iPad's Music app you should get a shared library option under the More button at the bottom of the app