I can't turn my phone number on to send and receive messages it is grayed out.
Basic troubleshooting from the User's Guide is reset, restart, restore (first from backup then as new). Has any of this been tried?
Does the carrier support SMS? It is SMS that you are referring to, correct?
All of this has been tried, it will send and receive from my email, but not my phone number and my phone number is grayed out to be able to click on.
So the issue is with iMessage.
In the future, it is extremely important to be specific about the issue that is occurring.
Troubleshooting FaceTime and iMessage activation
Retrieving data ...