Told by iTunes that I needed to upgrade my iPhone. Now it is trashed.

Followed all instructions for upgrade. Synched and backed up first. Then hit "Upgrade" button. Four hours later it said that phone needed to be restored. So I hit "Restore" button. Now 3 1/2 hours later icon is gone from left hand column on iTunes page, iTunes keeps flashing that it is "Verifying iPhone restore with Apple" and phone screen has an Itunes note symbol with a USB cable pointed at it. iPhone is still plugged into computer.