Battery stops working and shows [x}

My Macbook Pro is less than a year old, and suddenly it started shutting off and won't restart unless plugged into power. Once plugged in, it runs at about 10% speed and shows an x in the battery icon, and when you click on the battery it says "No Batteries Available".

I did some research and tried the Alt-Control-Shift + Power Button to reset te SMC, and it worked! For.... about two days. Then in the middle of a really important meeting it happened again.

It took resetting the SMC about three more times until it worked a second time, and that worked about three days, now it's happened again, and resetting the SMC isn't fixing anything.

I have warranty, but my problems are:
A. The closest apple store is two hours away.
B. I have swapped my optical drive with a SSD, so I'd love to fix this without any evil looks, voided warranties or slaps on the wrist from apple.

C. This is my work computer, and I genuinely can't work without it as I do all the media editing for my clients on THIS computer.