** UPDATE **
okay, I think I managed to get the shared iCals to sync our calendars that we are subscribed to (still not sure how I did it)... however, still have an issue with my Work iCal, and the "view only" "add/edit" option. I only want my wife to be able to "view only", so I turn that setting on... however, it keeps changing back to "add/edit". I can't be having her accidentally modify any of my appointments. Any idea?