Erratic Mouse Behaviour

2012 Macbook Pro.

Dear Apple,

What the **** is going on with my trackpad? It skips, jumps and performs clicking actions all by itself. I've read your guide on how to use a trackpad and it definitely is not user error or a dirty trackpad. I've noticed an awful lot of other people griping about the same thing. Maybe yet ANOTHER fresh thread on the matter will galvanise you into action.

This latest worrying development is rendering my laptop almost unuseable - sometimes are worse than others. The first time it happened, I honestly thought someone had taken control of my computer remotely. I killed my network connections and the problem persisted.

Just to illustrate this problem, I've had to rewrite the paragraph above once after my mouse decided to select a bunch of text right a nano second before I pressed "backspace". This is not even counting the times that it has tried to unilaterally decide to print this text, move my cursor elsewhere or try to navigate away from the page.

I didn't shell out an awful lot of money for a computer that may as well be used as a really fancy, shiny and expensive paperweight. Please sort this out.