There is no Home Sharing Icon. You turn on Home Sharing in the Settings app for Music and for Videos on the iPad. You have to sign in using your Apple ID.
After you have properly setup home sharing on the iPad and in iTunes on your computer, you can access your shared libraries in each App. In the Music App - tap the More button and in the Videos App - you will see a Shared tab at the top of the screen.
look at the first two articles here.