Have yu looked here:
If you have iTunes 11 turn on the Sidebar. Go to iTunes>View and click on Show Sidebar. You can also do a Crtl+S to show the sidebar. The sidebar is where Devices appears. and Control+B to show the Menu bar
I also cannot synch my ipod, because my ipod touch cannot be seen in itunes. My sidebar is available, but my device is still not listed. I then went to File - Library - and then tried to choose devices. Synch **** ipod, transfer, backup & restore from backup are all there, but cannot be used because they are not highlighted. I remember closing something that was located in the upper right of itunes, before this problem occurred. Any ideas?