While I'm sure you have already done this, I'm just going to mention it. Make sure that the WiFi connection you are using for both your AppleTV and iPad are on the same frequency. In other words if your AppleTV is using the "home" frequency, your iPad needs to be set to the same, not "guest" frequency. If it not, the "Airplay" icon will not appear. Something else, again I'm sure you are aware of this, but I'm going to throw this out too. Once you double click the home button twice and a new window appears showing all the apps that are running, you must swipe the bottom of the screen to the right to expose the volume and play controls. That is where "Airplay" icon resides. The icon will only appear if both AppleTV and the iPad are set to the same frequency in your home wifi setup. Hope this helps.