Trying to sync laptop iCal to iPhone

I am encountering a number of problems trying to sync my laptop (office) iCal calendar to my iPhone iCal.

First, all the support info I have found for synching the iPhone calendar advises I plug my phone into my laptop and go to iTunes, select Info, and then I am told,

Place a check mark in the “Sync iCal Calendars” check box.

The only problem is, there's no boxes to check. There used to be in my old iPhone OS — but not any more.

Now, under Sync Calendars, I have:

"Your calendars are being synced with your iPhone over the air from iCloud. Over-the-air sync settings can be changed on your iPhone."

That's fine — but for that to do me any good, I also need them to be changed on my laptop, so my laptop calendar uploads to iCloud. However, when I go to the Accounts settings in the iCal preferences, I encounter 2 problems:

> Problem 1: I can't log into the "Add an Account" interface.

I am not sure what user name and password is to be entered here. I thought it was my Apple user name and password — but maybe not, because every time I try to use them, I get an error message. I've tried my laptop admin UN/PW, too, to no avail.

What is really weird about this is my user name isn't even requested when I first log in — only my password. Then the interface FILLS IN my user name FOR ME, and then I get the error message about not being able to use the user name it GAVE me:

"iCal found the CalDAV server "<my email address suffix>", but couldn't log in whith the user name "<my user name>". Make sure the user name and password you entered are correct, then try again."

Question: What user name and password am I supposed to enter here?

> Problem 2: iCloud is not an option on my list of account types I can enter.

Here is the actual list available to me:

CalDEV

Exchange 2007

MobileMe

Google

Yahoo

I've seen tech support posts that SHOW iCloud in this pulldown menu — but it's not in mine.

Question: Should I just forget about trying to sync my desktop calendar with my iPhone calendar? Or is there something else I can do here?