Ical Sync- Iphone to macbook

This seems so basic yet it always goes wrong:

When I sync my ical on my iphone to my macbook through itunes, the macbook ical overwrites the iphone ical. This has happened with contacts as well. I use my iphone ical as an appointment and address book so macbook overwriting iphone is exactly opposite of what I want to do. I've tried adjusting a million settings and this is still happening. Anyone else have this issue? Why is this happening? How can I get my appointments and contact info from my phone to my computer?