Q: Help needed to update my software on the I pad

What type of network connection do you have, cellular data or wi-fi?  If wi-fi are you connected to a home or business network?

I was thinking you might be facing some restrictions on an enterprise network. Since you are on a home network, i assume you have full connectivity and no trouble getting out.  If this is the case, my guess would be that the Apple Update Server is getting hammered and may be timing out.  I would try the update at a different time of day or night, and see if it works then. 

BTW what is the exact message you get? "

If using a windows computer, temporarily turn off or disable any Anti-virus and firewall software. Try the download again. Be certain to re-enable the security software after the update is complete.

You might also check out this article.  There also is a link on the bottom of this article to another article that discusses the issues Stedman refers to. 

http://support.apple.com/kb/TS1814?viewlocale=en_US&locale=en_US