Dear halfyearworker. Forget about trying to restore by unplugging for 30 seconds or with remote.
You have to connect to PC with a micro USB cable and might have to try several ones, because not all will work.
In most cases you also have to connect power cord (I did not have to, but most other have to).
Normally when you connect, windows will ask you how to open the files, close that window and wait until iTunes opens.
If iTunes won't open, you most probably need another cable. If iTunes opens by itself, it has recognized your device and will give the option to reinstall the update. If you do only have one cable, try to borrow one from friends.
If all that won't work, apple store is the only solution.
Hope you are lucky