"This has been the same with iTunes since the original iPod was released. Nothing has changed in this regard."
I would tend to agree with you. I'm assuming maybe mine did not install correctly because I have had this problem since new version. Again I was not by any means not understanding you.
It won't let me right click when It go to sync Mary's IPhone at all. I just tried it. So maybe since my phone is brand new I should call customer support. This started with the new version new style. With Ipod and older Iphone. Or maybe delete the Itunes and then reinstall which I hoping I would not have to do. Especially if it's not a fix and I have to call anyway.
It shows my phone just to sync and the top bar still shows songs albums playlist etc. Not summery or the other options I should get.
It won't let me right click when It go to sync Mary's IPhone at all.
Who said to right click on your iPhone under Devices in the iTunes source list when it goes to sync?
I said there is a menu window that should appear when right clicking on your iPhone under Devices in the iTunes source list and if you are able to right click on your iPhone under Devices in the iTunes source list, you should be able to just select your iPhone under Devices in the iTunes source list to make the various tabs for your iPhone sync preferences with iTunes available in the main iTunes window.
What do you mean it shows your iPhone just to sync?
And how are you syncing your iPhone with iTunes now?
Is your iPhone available under Devices in the iTunes source list?
If so, when you just select your iPhone under Devices in the iTunes source list you said your iPhone disappears from under Devices. Is that what happens when selecting your iPhone under Devices in the iTunes source list?
On a windows computer if the "Side Bar" is not showing on the left hand side of iTunes press:
Control and S together on your keyboard.
This should bring up the side bar on the left hand side starting with Music, Movies TV Shows etc.
Now in the side bar you will see "Devices" and directly underneath that you will see the name of your iPhone. Left click the name of your iPhone and it will bring up the "Summary Page". From here you can do numerous things from the tabs like sync content, back up, restore, update etc.
In terms of where back ups are stored on a windows 7 pc they can be found here:
Vista / 7
But if you want to see the back up with itunes go to Edit>Preferences>Devices and the white box in the middle will show all back ups made to itunes on that computer.
Also in the same area if you have "Prevent iPods, iPhones and iPads from syncing automatically" selected then your iPhone will not sync automatically when you plug it in.
Allan Sampson hang in there mate you're doing well