Q: Our Ipod touch 4th generation settings general does not give the option for software update.  How or where do we go to update?

Go back to the article you asked this question from, ignore the instructions for updating it wirelessly, scroll down, and follow those for updating it from iTunes on a computer.

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To update

The Settings>General>Software Update comes with iOS 5 and later.

Connect the iPod to your computer and update via iTunes as far as your iPod model allows

iOS: How to update your iPhone, iPad, or iPod touch

A 1G iPod can go to iOS 2.2 via iTunes and iOS 3.1.3 via

Purchasing iOS 3.1 Software Update for iPod touch (1st generation)       

https://buy.itunes.apple.com/WebObjects/MZFinance.woa/wa/touchLegacyLandingPage

A 2G to 4.2.1. Requires iTunes version 10.X. If a Mac it requires OSX 10.5.8 or later. With OSX 10.4.11 you can only go to iTunes 9.X which gets you as high as iOS 4.1

A 3G to 5.1.1  Requires iTunes version 10.5 or later

A 4G to 6  Requires iTunes version 10.7 or later. For a Mac, that requires a Mac with OSX 10.6.8 or later

Identifying iPod models