homesharing not working, troubleshooting not helping

I've read and reread all the troubleshooting tips apple has to give. My computer does not have a cd drive so I had to use my mom's to put my music into itunes and subsequently onto my phone. I made ringtones that I want on my phone, but in order to add them from my computer, I lose all my music, and in order to get it back, I lose my ringtones. My mom's computer isn't always readily available for me to use and try to get my ringtones into itunes on her computer. I'm trying home sharing, and have enabled it on both hers and my computers. I can't access the music library from her computer, and don't see an option for sharing libraries or anything. I don't have the left side menu in my itunes like the picture shows, and I really have about had it.

All the responses I've read for help on this topic have been the same: a link to troubleshooting home sharing

Guess what? It's not working!!!

Can someone PLEASE help me figure this out so it works?!?! Why does apple have to be so frustrating???

Thanks to anyone who can give me a real answer instead of a link to a page I've read 47 times already.