home sharing frustration

I am having trouble with my home sharing. I DJ with my laptop on a different program but I have most of my songs on my desktop. I used to be able to quickly download my songs on my laptop to take and play later. Now I can't. I feel like every time apple gets a new itunes I find something that is no longer working or is harder to work than before. It is EXTREMELY frustrating. I'm getting ready to switch all of my music to another music system.

Anyway enough complaining if someone can help me fix this then that would be great. I wouldn't have to go through a ton of work to switch my music to another program. What is happening is I pull home sharing up. I have both itunes up and running on both computers. I can access my playlists on both. I then go to select a song to download from my desktop to my laptop and I can't download it. there used to be a convenient button that said view songs not in my library, that is no longer there. I then clicked itunes help and followed the directions given. Still nothing.

itunes help -> add items to itunes -> from a computer -> import items from home from other libraries using home sharing -> show

1. choose a computer on your home sharing device......

2. Choose a category

3. in the show menu at the bottom of the itunes window, choose "items not in my library" (This is the part that isn't working)

Step 3 I went down to the bottom of the itunes window there is nothing there. I exited out of both itunes and logged back on nothing. I turned off my computers completely... nothing. I re-downloaded itunes on both to makes sure they both were operating on the same itunes version.... nothing. I am running out of ideas.😕