ipad is disabled

If the iPad is disabled then you will need to do as the screen says and connect it the computer's iTunes that you normally sync to and you should then be able to reset the iPad and restore/re-sync your content to it (http://support.apple.com/kb/HT1212) - you may need to put the iPad into recovery mode in order to be able to reset it : http://support.apple.com/kb/ht1808

If you do it via a different computer then :

If you restore on a different computer that was never synced with the device, you will be able to unlock the device for use and remove the passcode, but your data will not be present.

I did and it says it will just come up in devices, I am not even seeing this as an option once ipad plugged in???

You have an up-to-date version of iTunes installed on your computer, and you have left-hand sidebar enabled on your computer's iTune (option-command-S on a Mac, control-S on a PC, should enable it) ?

If when you connect the iPad to your computer it's not showing on that left-hand sidebar then see if these troubleshooting pagees help

PC : http://support.apple.com/kb/TS1538

Mac : http://support.apple.com/kb/TS1591