Q: WHY DOES MY MACBOOK'S APPLICATIONS CRASH!!?!??!?!??!?

Do you have a good copy of an earlier CCC backup? always good to have more than one so you don't corrupt your good backup set.

Assuming you tried all the disk directory repairs and safe boot, it may be that your system device (ssd?) has to map out some bad sectors or storage cells.

General purpose Mac troubleshooting guide:

Mac OS X: Starting up in Safe Mode - http://docs.info.apple.com/article.html?artnum=107393

What is Safe Boot, Safe Mode? (Mac OS X) - http://support.apple.com/kb/HT1564

Isolating issues in Mac OS X

Creating a temporary user to isolate user-specific problems:

Isolating an issue by using another user account

Identifying resource hogs and other tips:

Using Activity Monitor to read System Memory and determine how much RAM is being used

Starting the computer in "safe mode":

Mac OS X: What is Safe Boot, Safe Mode?

To identify potential hardware problems:

Apple Hardware Test

General Mac maintenance:

How to install OS X on a new or faulty HD without Internet recovery

Corrupt and new disks might not have a working Recovery partition, but there are still ways to access one and reinstall OS X, if needed.