what if there is an apple ID that is under my name and attached to my info that I never personally created to begin with? for example, snooping girlfriend perhaps created without my knowledge. is there A WAY to discover all Apple ID's associated with you

Unless you know the password for the ID you won't be able to get any details about it. You can't get a list of IDs using your name for privacy reasons, as many people might have the same name as you.

No one can set up an iCloud account and "monitor" your phone but you. Your phone would need to be signed into the iCloud account in Settings>iCloud, which someone couldn't do without having your phone.

If you want to enquire further about what you can and can't find out about this, you can contact iTunes store support: https://ssl.apple.com/emea/support/itunes/contact.html.