How do I update iOS when there is no tag in settings for updates?

The option to update without the computer (Over the air) was made available with iOS 5. If your iDevice is using a version of iOS lower than 5, you will need to use iTunes on your syncing computer to perform the upgrade. Use the Apple link below as a guide for the upgrade.

http://support.apple.com/kb/HT4972

Also read the instructions from the section entitled "Update your device using iTunes" at the link below.

http://support.apple.com/kb/HT4623

Information regarding transferring purchases from your iDevice to iTunes on your syncing computer can be found at the link below.

http://support.apple.com/kb/ht1848

If you have an iPad 1, the max iOS is 5.1.1. For newer iPads, the current iOS is 6.1.3. The Settings>General>Software Update only appears if you have iOS 5.0 or higher currently installed.

iOS 5: Updating your device to iOS 5 or Later

http://support.apple.com/kb/HT4972

How to install iOS 6

http://www.macworld.com/article/2010061/hands-on-with-ios-6-installation.html

iOS: How to update your iPhone, iPad, or iPod touch

http://support.apple.com/kb/HT4623

If you are currently running an iOS lower than 5.0, connect the iPad to the computer, open iTunes. Then select the iPad under the Devices heading on the left, click on the Summary tab and then click on Check for Update.

Tip - If connected to your computer, you may need to disable your firewall and anitvirus software temporarily. Then download and install the iOS update. Be sure and backup your iPad before the iOS update. After you update an iPad (except iPad 1) to iOS 6.x, the next update can be installed via wifi (i.e., not connected to your computer).

Tip 2 - If you're updating via wifi, place your iPad close to your router to preclude getting a corrupted download.

 Cheers, Tom 😉