Hello Lady MC,
Thank you for the details of the issue you are experiencing with your iPhone. It sounds like you are trying to import photos from your iPhone, but the AutoPlay dialogue box doesn't automatically appear.
You may need to enable AutoPlay on your computer:
Connect your iOS device to the computer. If the AutoPlay window appears, click "Import Pictures and Videos using Windows", then skip to step 4. If the "Import Pictures and Video" dialog appears, skip to step 4.
Note: If the AutoPlay dialog box does not automatically open, you may need to enable the behavior.
That excerpt is from the section titled "If you have a Windows Vista or Windows 7 PC" in the following article:
iOS: Importing personal photos and videos from iOS devices to your computer
http://support.apple.com/kb/HT4083
If your iPhone is not appearing as a connected device at all, I recommend reviewing the following article:
iOS: Device not recognized in iTunes for Windows
http://support.apple.com/kb/TS1538
Thank you for using Apple Support Communities.
Best,
Sheila M.