cannot add calDAV/cardDAV account to iphone 5s, Mavericks Server 3

I have an iPhone 5s, and have been working for days trying to make it sync with my Macbook Pro with Mavericks, using Server 3 on the laptop.

My discussion about problems on the computer is here -- https://discussions.apple.com/thread/5549120?answerId=23755502022#23755502022.

Here are two very helpful articles:

http://securityspread.com/2013/10/27/setting-sync-server/

http://krypted.com/tag/setup-caldav-client-for-ical-server/

Everything is updated.

Finally got the laptop to make new accounts.

Now i cannot get my phone to make new accounts.

In the iPhone: Preferences/Email, Contacts, Calendar/New Account/Other. Add CalDAV or CardDAV. I enter the correct server, username, password, just like on the computer. I do know the correct names and password. I hit Next. I wait a long time while the phone checks.

First i get 'SSL not possible', which is ok.

Then every attempt terminates with a fail message.

I have searched long about this, can find nothing to help.

Any advice, pointers appreciated.