iTunes 11.1 (or latest version) for iphone 4

my situation is the same and i can not get the i phone 4 to upgrade to 11.1 or greater

You may be getting this message if you are trying to activate your new iOS device using an older instalation of iTunes on your computer.

iPad Essentials - Setting Up

http://www.apple.com/support/ipad/essentials/

You should not have to download and install iTunes from Apple in order to get the latest version on your Mac. You should be able to choose Software Update from the Apple () menu.

OS X: Updating OS X and Mac App Store apps

http://support.apple.com/kb/HT1338

Alternatively, you can try and access the update from within iTunes itself by selecting teh Check for Updates menu item.

iTunes: How to install the latest version

http://support.apple.com/kb/ht5654

If both of the afore mentioned update methods fail, then another option is to download and install iTunes directly from Apple's download site.

Software downloads: Frequently asked questions

http://support.apple.com/kb/HT2404

Download iTunes

http://support.apple.com/downloads/#itunes

Troubleshooting iTunes installation on Mac OS X

http://support.apple.com/kb/HT2311