extremely frustrated w/ no control over music on my iphone

Someone please read this and help me. I am not able to control what is going on with my iphone regarding music that is downloaded.

I am a MATCH subscriber.

All of my music is successfully Matched and available in the cloud. I have no problem toggling ON the button on my iPhone that says "Show All Music that Has been downloaded or is stored in iCloud. And when this is toggled on and I have Cellular data turned on I can stream all of my 14,000 files in my car. It's great. But at the end of the month I need to turn off "Show All" and I need to turn Cellular data OFF because I'm reaching my limit of data use on my celluarly plan. That's no problem, I can turn it off and just play what music is downloaded on my iPhone. BUT THIS IS WHERE I HAVE NO CONTROL:

I'm having problems deleting music on my iPhone. For some songs the red delete button will NOT show when swiping the song to delete.

But I also successfully deleted all of music recently on the iphone except for 17 songs that just would not delete.

But yet, now a week later I have 89 songs on my iPhone. They seem to be songs that I have played in the last week when I was playing from the cloud in the car with "Show All Music Downloaded AND Stored in the Cloud" toggled on. Does it have to download when I play a song. I certainly do not want it to? And at this writing, when I plug my iPhone into my iMac and look at it's contents it says that I have only 17 songs! but on my iPhone with "show only music downloaded to iphone" toggled it shows that I have 89 songs downloaded on the phone! That does not make sense. Of course when I toggle show all music including MATCH the phone successfully shows all 1400 song files. When toggled off it shows 89 songs downloaded. When plugged into my iMac in iTunes is says I only have 17 songs downloaded on the phone. This does not make sense.

Just now I went to check my suspicion to see if those 89 songs had indeed been all songs that I had played this last week, but I was stopped by more confusion. Under settings the iTunes Match button has always been turned on to green. I just toggled that off and the phone warned me that it would store all of my iTunes Match music on the phone. Well I certainly don't want that since my Match account would never fit on my iphone and I don't want it all hard downloaded. But it refused to give me an option to go back, untoggle, and to stop this process. So there is goes, beginning to download all of my MATCH account. It also said I would lose what was currently downloaded on that phone but that is no big deal because I don't want anything downloaded on my phone right now. Rather, I want to be able to get rid of all music on my iphone at will, and download any music that I want, but at my request not automatically, but control over what shows up as downloaded on my iPhone has COMPLETELY illuded me. Well, so, I just went into settings again and was able to turn off iTunes Match so it would stop downloading all 1400 songs and the phone finished what it was downloading from MATCH and I found I only had four songs on the phone now. As promised it deleted was was on the phone and had started replacing it with the MATCH library. That's fine. Okay, so I tried to delete the only four songs now on my phone; only TWO of them would delete and two of them will simply NOT delete! I'm beginning to think that part of this problem is completely not me and that the phone has trouble keeping logged up to it's own current status somehow because during the week a couple times a song that refused to delete would suddenly let me delete it. But there is more going on here than just a sticky delete button.

Well, after all this babbling I have reduced this to ONE sudden current question that I didn't even HAVE when I started this tirade: Should I keep the iTunes Match button OFF on my iPhone? being that my MATCH account is based on my home iMac. Is THAT the problem? I'm going to keep that button off right now. It's been on all the while since I started my MATCH account from my iMac at home.

This has been very frustrating and very difficult.

Thanks for any relevant feedback.

James