Q: my husbands i phone 4s & my 4s have mereged accounts. He can read my text when I send them to people & my contacts are in his contacts

To fix this, you need to stop sharing the same iCloud account, and stop using the same Apple ID for iMessage and FaceTime.

One of you needs to migrate their device to a new iCloud account.  To do this, start by saving any photo stream photos you wish to keep to your camera roll (unless already there) by opening your my photo stream album, tapping Select, tapping the photos, tap the share icon (box with upward facing arrow, then tapping Save to Camera Roll.  If you are syncing notes with iCloud, you'll need to open each of your notes and email them to yourself so you can later copy and paste the text into new notes created in your new account.  Then go to Settings>iCloud, tap Delete Account (which only deletes it from this device, not from iCloud; the person keeping the account won't be effected by this), choose Keep on My iDevice and provide the password to turn off Find My iPhone.  Then sign back in with a different Apple ID to create your new account and choose Merge to upload your data.  Once you are on separate iCloud accounts, you can each go to icloud.com and delete the other person's data from your account.

Then go to Settings>Messages>Send & Receive, tap the ID, sign out, and sign back in with the new iCloud ID.  Finally, do the same thing in Settings>FaceTime.  This will prevent you from getting each other's text messages and FaceTime calls.