i can not remember the passcode lock and have disabled my phone HELP

If the phone belongs to you, you should be able to email apple. Of course, you will need to know your email address and your password for your apple account. If you cannot remember your pasword for your apple account then they will email it to you. All these things are for your protection in case something gets stolen.

A simple search of the forums by either of you would have revealed: http://support.apple.com/kb/ht1212

@Colorforce Apple does not provide email support. Please refrain from providing inaccurate information.