i need help with my ipad it is disabled and states connect to itunes

Follow the directions in this link carefully. You may have to try a few times, but this is the procedure that you need: http://support.apple.com/kb/ht1808

disabled and says to go to iTunes to reset

The message it to connect the iPad, by its cable, to your computer's iTunes, that should let you reset the iPad : If you forgot the passcode for your iPhone, iPad, or iPod touch, or your device is disabled - Apple Support

I don't have a iTunes account and if I do I forget the password

You don't need an iTunes account, you need to connect the iPad to a computer's iTunes and use the above linked instructions.