Q: how to get  a refund on in app purchases I did not know I paid for?

Purchases are considered final, but you can try the 'report a problem' link to contact iTunes Support and see if they will refund or credit you : http://reportaproblem.apple.com

If the 'report a problem' link doesn't work then you can try contacting iTunes support via this page : http://www.apple.com/support/itunes/contact/ - click on Contact iTunes Store Support on the right-hand side of the page, then Purchases, Billing & Redemption

If you don't want to be able to make in-app purchases then you can prevent them via Settings > General > Restrictions