Q: I can't unlock my old iPhone 3GS. I forget the password and it isn't updated and it can't be restored

What do you mean "it can't be restored"? What happens when you try?

You'll need to give us full details before any one can help. What computer are you using, what version of iTunes, and what exactly happens when you try to do the restore per these instructions:

http://support.apple.com/kb/HT1414

Include the full text of any error message(s) you receive.

Regards.

The only other way is if you set up Find My iPhone, in which case you can go to iCloud.com, go to the Find My iPhone section, and you may be able to erase the iPhone. Otherwise, no, you need to restore using iTunes.

Regards.

If you download the Find My iPhone app from the iTunes Store.