i understand completely with itunes; it has really gone down hill in recent versions. even just using itunes to listen to the music you purchased through itunes is difficult. i just want to listen to music, but instead, all i see is album artwork.
as far as transferring photos and videos is concerned, there is an easy way to do it.
1. plug your phone into your mac.
2. open the 'preview' app.
3. under the file menu, go to file/import from phone (it will list the name of your phone here, like, "import from joe's iphone."
4. a new window will open up where you will be able to visually see all of the photos and videos on your phone.
5. select "import all" at the bottom right of this new window.
6. select where to import the photos; (to your computer's hard drive or a backup hard drive).
7. importing will open another window and the imported photos will pop up as they are imported. wait until the import is completed. if you close this new import window before the entire import is completed, preview will just open a new window as the new photos are being imported.
8. and the best feature is deleting all the imported photos & videos in one step.
but first, let me take a selfie, i mean, be sure your photos are backed up on icloud (you need to plug your iphone in to a computer or an outlet and have a reliable wifi connection. this process is usually automatic overnight, while at home. if not, do a manual backup by plugging iphone into an outlet, connect to a consistent wifi connection (one that wont time out after 15min). from the phone, go to settings/icloud/backup/backup now. wait until the icloud backup is completed, then..
10. from the preview app, "select all," cmd-a or choose file/'select all' from the menu bar. hit the delete symbol at the bottom of the window or hit delete on the keyboard. the deleting process may take a few moments, but it is so much faster than individually deleting each photo or video.